So here is the update for all of you that read my blog.
After our fresh cycle didn't work out for us we had to re-evaluate what our next step would be. I see myself as a planner and always like to plan ahead no matter what the process is we are going through. Nick however, within our IVF process stuff sees that as being negative. He would rather assume that is is going to work out and just plan for it to work and address what we will do if it doesn't at the time. For the first fresh cycle this was much easier to do. Afterall we had not had an IVF cycle before and I thought this is really it, this is what will finally bring us our baby.
So when we got the news that it did not work and we were not pregnant it was devastating.
We decided to take a month off and try again with a frozen embryo cycle or FET this month. We had two blastocysts, or day five embryos, transferred on this past Friday morning. We can test in nine days which is a huge blessing since we had to wait much longer it seems like last time. I think this is because our embryos are two days older. I already know what we will do for a plan b, Or plan c rather since this will be our second attempt. Doc has suggested that patients with endometriosis sometimes to better with embryo transfers after three months of supression therapy, which is three months on birth control or steroids to prevent any new scarring my the disease. So that would make one more transfer in Arkansas before we move to Florida in June.
The only anxiety I am having is fear of the test. I know that quitters never win and winners never quit and we are actively trying for our child and doing everything in our power that will get us there. I am scared to hope I guess. I know hope is there because I do get excited, but I was excited last time too. To the point of looking at nursery decor and cribs from Pottery Barn. I know there is no harm in getting that excited again and checking out out swings and bedding. Perhaps there is no way around the fear and anxiety in the test. I just pray and pray for God to calm my nerves and ease my tension about the test, now in only seven days.....
I know there is a plan for us and that God will place a child in our arms through his work. Just need to keep repeating that mantra over and over until test day.
Therefor I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. - Mark 11:24