And the good Lord knows that we have been waiting for a good while!!!!
At lunch today I went to check my phone as I periodically do with everything that has been going on with our fertility, for a few weeks there was a message every other day or so with an update. When I had a missed call and voice mail with the San Antonio area code my heart sank.
I must say that for all my preaching on trying to have a positive outlook (not something I am good at in the tiniest bit) things it is very easy to slip into the old ways. Instinctively I went into my turtle shell and tried to talk myself off the ledge if if was a call postponing the cycle again. Before I pressed the play voice mail button I sat down in the chair that overlooks the floor to ceiling windows downstairs in my office. It was a gorgeous sunny day outside and the wind was choosing which leaves to ruffle. I asked God out loud to give me peace with where he was leading us and knowledge that whatever this voice mail said, there was a reason behind it, the biggest reason being that He knew where this path was going to take us. Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths I pressed play.
All the Doctor said was to call her regarding our August Cycle. With yet another prayer said, (too many can never hurt right?) I pressed re-dial. My stomach was doing its best impression of the stuntman in the death ring of fire when Lt. Y. answered.
Imagine my surprise when she told me that she was calling to tell me that everything, EVERYTHING has been approved and that there would be NO MORE cancellations or postponements. NONE. In other words, we are now 100% on task to head down to Texas September 5th!
From the day I got the call in early April telling us that our IVF cycle was indefinitely postponed I felt like a hollowed out egg.
When we were in high school we had to take an egg and poke two holes in it. One at the top and one at the bottom. Then you had to blow all the yolk out. (Gross) Then you could paint a face on it, write your name on it, anything to personalize it. The teacher then put his thumb print on it so he would know if it was the original egg from the start of the project. This experiment was for life management skills class and you were "married" to another student from class and the egg was to symbolize your "baby." The more cracks you had in your egg when you turned it in, the lower the grade. Demolish the egg all together and you fail the project.
(Our "baby" was named Christopher and was taken to soccer practice by "husband" Josh in a sunglasses case. Miraculously he came through without a single crack.....)
April felt like the first crack, then in May when I got the call that the cycle was back on, a little bandaid was applied to the tiny damage. Only for it to be reopened again in June when it was postponed again with no further information. Applied some super glue to the wound when it not only was back on again in July but also was started on my medicines to actually start the ball rolling for the IVF the following month. The largest crack in the egg was when they cancelled again after I had been on the medicine for only two days. Crying, to include snotting all over yourself, at your brand new job in the employee lounge definitely qualifies as a rather large crack in the egg.
But today, was the first day, since the beginning of April that I felt like we have a new beginning and one that is on solid ground. There are many more mountains to climb and rivers to cross (pardon the cheesy metaphors) on this cycle but having the first challenge down certainly makes me feel at peace with proceeding to the next prayer set!
Next up is praying, for those of you who keep us in your prayers, this is big one too, praying that we get a room at the Fisher House. They are on a first come, first serve basis and are there for people who are traveling from out of the state for treatment at the base there. We were told a while ago that one was pretty much solidified because of the fact that they had cut the patient load by about 70 percent but was informed by a Fisher House representative soon afterwards that rooms were only available if they were not occupied. For those who do not know what The Fisher house is, it is a series of big houses (four, maybe five total) on base that each have if I can remember right, about 8 rooms each. Each room is set up like a hotel room with your own bathroom, shower, television, dvd player, etc. They have a common living room, dining room and kitchen. In the kitchen each room has an assigned pantry shelf, and space in the fridge. They also have a washer and dryer for laundry! If you are assigned a room there your stay is until you are finished with your treatment, they do not ever make anyone leave. There is no charge at all for staying there, which is amazing, but for both reasons it limits the number of rooms they have for people being able to stay with them. They have many organizations that come and volunteer there which is something that Nick and I look forward to being able to do while there since we loved the therapy dogs so much last time.
http://www.fisherhouse.org/
Many, many different hurtles ahead but today I am thankful that we are definitely headed to Texas in three short weeks. I know there will be different things to pray for in the upcoming months and will write them all down eventually for my sanity and prayer list and for those who are curious as to how IVF works and the steps involved. (Don't worry it will be kept PG, I can appreciate not everyone has the desire to go into the medical field as I did. :) )
Oh! And I started today, I swear to you, I have NEVER been so happy to get a period in my entire life. 43 day cycle how insane was that?! Bring on the meds in just a few days and lets get this baby train on the track!
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