And the good Lord knows that we have been waiting for a good while!!!!
At lunch today I went to check my phone as I periodically do with everything that has been going on with our fertility, for a few weeks there was a message every other day or so with an update. When I had a missed call and voice mail with the San Antonio area code my heart sank.
I must say that for all my preaching on trying to have a positive outlook (not something I am good at in the tiniest bit) things it is very easy to slip into the old ways. Instinctively I went into my turtle shell and tried to talk myself off the ledge if if was a call postponing the cycle again. Before I pressed the play voice mail button I sat down in the chair that overlooks the floor to ceiling windows downstairs in my office. It was a gorgeous sunny day outside and the wind was choosing which leaves to ruffle. I asked God out loud to give me peace with where he was leading us and knowledge that whatever this voice mail said, there was a reason behind it, the biggest reason being that He knew where this path was going to take us. Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths I pressed play.
All the Doctor said was to call her regarding our August Cycle. With yet another prayer said, (too many can never hurt right?) I pressed re-dial. My stomach was doing its best impression of the stuntman in the death ring of fire when Lt. Y. answered.
Imagine my surprise when she told me that she was calling to tell me that everything, EVERYTHING has been approved and that there would be NO MORE cancellations or postponements. NONE. In other words, we are now 100% on task to head down to Texas September 5th!
From the day I got the call in early April telling us that our IVF cycle was indefinitely postponed I felt like a hollowed out egg.
When we were in high school we had to take an egg and poke two holes in it. One at the top and one at the bottom. Then you had to blow all the yolk out. (Gross) Then you could paint a face on it, write your name on it, anything to personalize it. The teacher then put his thumb print on it so he would know if it was the original egg from the start of the project. This experiment was for life management skills class and you were "married" to another student from class and the egg was to symbolize your "baby." The more cracks you had in your egg when you turned it in, the lower the grade. Demolish the egg all together and you fail the project.
(Our "baby" was named Christopher and was taken to soccer practice by "husband" Josh in a sunglasses case. Miraculously he came through without a single crack.....)
April felt like the first crack, then in May when I got the call that the cycle was back on, a little bandaid was applied to the tiny damage. Only for it to be reopened again in June when it was postponed again with no further information. Applied some super glue to the wound when it not only was back on again in July but also was started on my medicines to actually start the ball rolling for the IVF the following month. The largest crack in the egg was when they cancelled again after I had been on the medicine for only two days. Crying, to include snotting all over yourself, at your brand new job in the employee lounge definitely qualifies as a rather large crack in the egg.
But today, was the first day, since the beginning of April that I felt like we have a new beginning and one that is on solid ground. There are many more mountains to climb and rivers to cross (pardon the cheesy metaphors) on this cycle but having the first challenge down certainly makes me feel at peace with proceeding to the next prayer set!
Next up is praying, for those of you who keep us in your prayers, this is big one too, praying that we get a room at the Fisher House. They are on a first come, first serve basis and are there for people who are traveling from out of the state for treatment at the base there. We were told a while ago that one was pretty much solidified because of the fact that they had cut the patient load by about 70 percent but was informed by a Fisher House representative soon afterwards that rooms were only available if they were not occupied. For those who do not know what The Fisher house is, it is a series of big houses (four, maybe five total) on base that each have if I can remember right, about 8 rooms each. Each room is set up like a hotel room with your own bathroom, shower, television, dvd player, etc. They have a common living room, dining room and kitchen. In the kitchen each room has an assigned pantry shelf, and space in the fridge. They also have a washer and dryer for laundry! If you are assigned a room there your stay is until you are finished with your treatment, they do not ever make anyone leave. There is no charge at all for staying there, which is amazing, but for both reasons it limits the number of rooms they have for people being able to stay with them. They have many organizations that come and volunteer there which is something that Nick and I look forward to being able to do while there since we loved the therapy dogs so much last time.
http://www.fisherhouse.org/
Many, many different hurtles ahead but today I am thankful that we are definitely headed to Texas in three short weeks. I know there will be different things to pray for in the upcoming months and will write them all down eventually for my sanity and prayer list and for those who are curious as to how IVF works and the steps involved. (Don't worry it will be kept PG, I can appreciate not everyone has the desire to go into the medical field as I did. :) )
Oh! And I started today, I swear to you, I have NEVER been so happy to get a period in my entire life. 43 day cycle how insane was that?! Bring on the meds in just a few days and lets get this baby train on the track!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Waiting & "Dear Baby"
As I post this I am almost 35 days into my cycle and can only remember being this late about four years ago right before Nicks first deployment. At that point I was really stressed out about that and it wound up pushing it out a grand two weeks. We definitely thought we were pregnant. A blood test confirmed it was just stress and two days later we got our sign.
So, needless to say that even though we are (fingers crossed) headed to Texas in early September I am anxiety ridden just a tiny bit about how long this cycle is going. Not to mention the fact that I also have had no warning signs of the approaching cycle. (Although Nick would say that my freak out on Friday over not being able to style my extensions *insert a hysterical crying mess who throws hair products around the spare bathroom here* would be a hormonal temper tantrum. Yeah, I'm not proud but it happens! Although I will say incidents like that only happen really close to my period, which would be a huge clue that its less than 24 hours away. Well that was on Friday. Today is Monday night.
I just wish God would let us know one way or the other what he planning for us this month! Sweet Nick thinks I'm silly for testing every single morning (and the other testing like, say, when I get a particularly strong urge or lack of patience at four pm) because he, If I am honest with myself, along with me doesn't believe we can conceive on our own. We have somewhat closed the door on that subject. I am not happy that we have to deal with infertility but it has brought us so much closer as a couple for so many reasons and brought me personally SO much closer to God that I have to say that there is some good that comes out of trying for our precious baby for almost four years. At times, since I passed my 28 day, 29 day and 30 day cycle mark I wonder if He is just testing our patience, then I think, No, that can't be it, He knows how long we have been trying and knows our patience levels. Then, of course, as they always do I think of the biblical couples who waited much MUCH longer and the current line of thinking goes away.
I do realize that the constant thinking about how late I am is probably only pushing the cycle even further into oblivion, obviously not helpful. Thus I am trying to find things to occupy my thoughts such as blogging, learning new chords for the guitar. Side note, for all you GLEEKS, (yes I just used the cheese term) out there.... Did you know how Chord Overstreet (Sam on Glee) got his name? Both of his parents are musicians and he was the third child born into the family, thus the name Chord. So cool. I love hearing stories like that and it gives me further inspiration into my future kids names.
And now, something that I have been thinking about lately and would just like to write down. To get out of my soul, to have for the yet to come Ellwood baby and for some much needed peace in the storm.
See you hopefully soon,
Your excited parents-to-be
So, needless to say that even though we are (fingers crossed) headed to Texas in early September I am anxiety ridden just a tiny bit about how long this cycle is going. Not to mention the fact that I also have had no warning signs of the approaching cycle. (Although Nick would say that my freak out on Friday over not being able to style my extensions *insert a hysterical crying mess who throws hair products around the spare bathroom here* would be a hormonal temper tantrum. Yeah, I'm not proud but it happens! Although I will say incidents like that only happen really close to my period, which would be a huge clue that its less than 24 hours away. Well that was on Friday. Today is Monday night.
I just wish God would let us know one way or the other what he planning for us this month! Sweet Nick thinks I'm silly for testing every single morning (and the other testing like, say, when I get a particularly strong urge or lack of patience at four pm) because he, If I am honest with myself, along with me doesn't believe we can conceive on our own. We have somewhat closed the door on that subject. I am not happy that we have to deal with infertility but it has brought us so much closer as a couple for so many reasons and brought me personally SO much closer to God that I have to say that there is some good that comes out of trying for our precious baby for almost four years. At times, since I passed my 28 day, 29 day and 30 day cycle mark I wonder if He is just testing our patience, then I think, No, that can't be it, He knows how long we have been trying and knows our patience levels. Then, of course, as they always do I think of the biblical couples who waited much MUCH longer and the current line of thinking goes away.
I do realize that the constant thinking about how late I am is probably only pushing the cycle even further into oblivion, obviously not helpful. Thus I am trying to find things to occupy my thoughts such as blogging, learning new chords for the guitar. Side note, for all you GLEEKS, (yes I just used the cheese term) out there.... Did you know how Chord Overstreet (Sam on Glee) got his name? Both of his parents are musicians and he was the third child born into the family, thus the name Chord. So cool. I love hearing stories like that and it gives me further inspiration into my future kids names.
And now, something that I have been thinking about lately and would just like to write down. To get out of my soul, to have for the yet to come Ellwood baby and for some much needed peace in the storm.
Dear Baby Ellwood,
I am writing this letter to tell you how much you are wanted. I know, my sweet, darling child, that whether you come to us as a miracle though your birth or the joy of pure unselfishness of your birth mother that you have always been wanted and prayed for every single day, for at least four years. Or even six years since the time I first met your father. Having an excellent role model and loving children growing up I always had the desire in my heart to be a mother some day but I never knew how much until I met Nick.
This man can make me laugh until my stomach hurts, he can cook delicious meals and clean the entire kitchen afterwards. (a real bonus from what I hear from other wives.) He will pull over in the rain to save a dog off the highway, stay later after work to help someone home, invite those who can not go home for the holidays to our house for a home cooked meal, and tells me I am beautiful with bed-head, dragon-breath, a new zit and holey pajamas on. Most importantly he makes me feel as though I am the only girl in the world and will always be the hottest thing since sliced bread. Your Dad is amazing with kids, mainly because he is a big one himself! Since your mother over-analyzes just about everything and has enough anxiety for the both of us he is a complete balance to our lives together.
Our journey to you was a rough one but one that brought us closer as partners and friends. I do not know what it is like to have your first baby as we have not had the joy of experiencing that yet. I can only imagine that the parents holding their first child feel very happy and blessed to have them. What I can tell you is how much that same emotion will be ten fold when you arrive in our arms.
Using a Josh Turner song lyric, "The longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss." The absolute burning desire to hear your heartbeat for the first time, to feel you kick my belly with nervous excitement, to have your Dad place a kiss on my large, round belly, to feel your soft, luxuriously smooth skin against my hand and that delicious baby smell is only magnified by the years of struggle just to hold you in our arms.
Those who experience any kind of infertility, no matter how long their journey, have an unyielding thirst for their child. I am sure this applies to most things in life that do not come easy. No one desire to struggle with their school, career, beating a disease, or building a family, but oh the sheer bliss and joy that comes with overcoming your set backs, no matter what they may be.
This is what we promise you: to laugh and play with you until one of us runs out of breath, to teach you manner, morals and to treat people the way you want to be treated, to be generous and to share your snack pack at school with the kid who's mom gave him carrots instead of chocolate pudding. To let you run around barefoot in a huge field so you can feel the fresh summer grass under your toes, to be kind to animals because they do not have a voice of their own and are considered furry family members, to discipline you when you have stepped out of bounds because you will thank us for it when you are not stripping or face down in the gutter some where at seventeen. (This reference was used quite a bit for your mother growing up and I have done neither, so be sure to thank your Moms mother for that.) We promise to have a stash of money hidden away so when you hear the tinkling bells and shriek "ICE CREAM MAN!" you will have a few dollars at a moments notice. And just because our parents did it to us with Brick House by the Commodores, we promise to embarrass you with our loud music as we drop you off at school playing what can only be described as mom-music but really is some phat beats from some white guy who thinks he can rap. Most of all we promise to unconditionally love you to almost smother-like tendencies to include, licking a napkin in public to wipe food off your face, asking for a kiss goodbye in front of your new friends, and sticking little notes of encouragement in your Batman lunch box.
As for the unyielding thirst, I can tell you the love that will be showered upon your arrival into our tiny family will be the most refreshing drink of water we will have ever experienced.
See you hopefully soon,
Your excited parents-to-be
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Fourth times the charm!
Ok, so I guess time for an update since I guess there is an update to give in the first place, for that, I am thankful.
So, after having cancelled (or as the Lieutenant I spoke with said this past Friday, indefinatly postponed), for three times since April, we are, as of Friday July 29th, back on again. She called to ask me why she hadn't received my latest blood test results. I just stared into the phone and told her I thought it was cancelled, (see her reply above.) The conversation went as such....
1.) It is definitely back on (and by definitely I mean 90 percent its a go for a September cycle and I won't know more until about a week from now if its a 100% go. Although I am in doubt about it ever truly being confirmed until we are in the car driving to Texas!)
2.) I am to call her when I start my August cycle to get put on the meds again, ( I was only on them for a day and half before she called to say that it was "postponed" again about three weeks ago.) I will be on the meds for about 2 weeks and am to be in Texas no later than September 5th for my baseline blood draw. (which starts the entire process.)
3.) Embryo transfer (praying that we get embryos, because that is not a gaurantee either, pretty much nothing is a gaurentee until we are pregnant! And to be really honest, with as long as we have been trying I can't say that I will believe it until I am holding that sweet miracle in our arms!) will be around 10-12 days after the first blood draw.
4.) We will be in the San Antonio area for a total of three weeks, (EEK!) and should know if we are pregnant by early October. Happy Birthday to ME!!! Well Us, haha, I was thinking that she would be a really great birthday present. And as I just typed that I realize that I put she, but honest to goodness I typed it without hesitation, very much with the flow! I will be ESTATIC with either sex though!
Its kind of funny whenever I refer to our unconcieved baby I always call it a she and Nick always calls it a he. :) Also as I type this, my husband just brought me fresh romaine salad before our dinner! What a lucky girl I am to be married to someone who loves to treat me like a princess! He will definately be a good Daddy someday.
So the long and short of it is, I am currently on cycle day 29, as of August 3rd, 2011. Which is making me a tad crazy since I made it to cycle day 24 last month so now the brain is doing tricks with me thinking I could possibly be LATE on my own! I have in the past however, gone as late as cycle day 33. SO with that being said I'm trying incrediably hard not to think about that tiny fact. While it would be miraculous, truly, to be pregnant on our own, I am semi-excited about headed to Texas in September.
Only Semi-excited in case it gets postponed again. Withholding it until we are in the car, playing Jack Johnson and loving our road to Baby!
Psalms 39:7
But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.
So, after having cancelled (or as the Lieutenant I spoke with said this past Friday, indefinatly postponed), for three times since April, we are, as of Friday July 29th, back on again. She called to ask me why she hadn't received my latest blood test results. I just stared into the phone and told her I thought it was cancelled, (see her reply above.) The conversation went as such....
1.) It is definitely back on (and by definitely I mean 90 percent its a go for a September cycle and I won't know more until about a week from now if its a 100% go. Although I am in doubt about it ever truly being confirmed until we are in the car driving to Texas!)
2.) I am to call her when I start my August cycle to get put on the meds again, ( I was only on them for a day and half before she called to say that it was "postponed" again about three weeks ago.) I will be on the meds for about 2 weeks and am to be in Texas no later than September 5th for my baseline blood draw. (which starts the entire process.)
3.) Embryo transfer (praying that we get embryos, because that is not a gaurantee either, pretty much nothing is a gaurentee until we are pregnant! And to be really honest, with as long as we have been trying I can't say that I will believe it until I am holding that sweet miracle in our arms!) will be around 10-12 days after the first blood draw.
4.) We will be in the San Antonio area for a total of three weeks, (EEK!) and should know if we are pregnant by early October. Happy Birthday to ME!!! Well Us, haha, I was thinking that she would be a really great birthday present. And as I just typed that I realize that I put she, but honest to goodness I typed it without hesitation, very much with the flow! I will be ESTATIC with either sex though!
Its kind of funny whenever I refer to our unconcieved baby I always call it a she and Nick always calls it a he. :) Also as I type this, my husband just brought me fresh romaine salad before our dinner! What a lucky girl I am to be married to someone who loves to treat me like a princess! He will definately be a good Daddy someday.
So the long and short of it is, I am currently on cycle day 29, as of August 3rd, 2011. Which is making me a tad crazy since I made it to cycle day 24 last month so now the brain is doing tricks with me thinking I could possibly be LATE on my own! I have in the past however, gone as late as cycle day 33. SO with that being said I'm trying incrediably hard not to think about that tiny fact. While it would be miraculous, truly, to be pregnant on our own, I am semi-excited about headed to Texas in September.
Only Semi-excited in case it gets postponed again. Withholding it until we are in the car, playing Jack Johnson and loving our road to Baby!
Psalms 39:7
But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Good News!
Oops! Forgot to mention that all the prayers that the new job would be accepting of me having to take two to three weeks off this fall for the IVF have turned out! Not to disclose too much but more than one girl there has had problems either conceiving or with Endometriosis! What a small world it is.
When I asked my boss if she thought it was ok that I needed that much time off so soon she replied with,
"Sweetie, that is life! It happens whether you plan for it or not. You having a child is very important to you, don't worry about having to lose your job!"
Basically it was a non issue.
So, YAY!
When I asked my boss if she thought it was ok that I needed that much time off so soon she replied with,
"Sweetie, that is life! It happens whether you plan for it or not. You having a child is very important to you, don't worry about having to lose your job!"
Basically it was a non issue.
So, YAY!
Thoughts
Had a moment of almost.... bile? It is crazy how close we are to the possibility of success yet the devil seems to seep its way into my unaccompanied thoughts! Facebook is not good for the wandering mind I have decided. Any sort of stalking and my mind goes places it should not. As in, why is everyone in this picture pregnant? How weird. Everyone. Even though we are SO close to our IVF that horrible thought still seemed to scream at me as I stared at each picture. So, I closed Facebook and decided to journal instead.
I actually have been doing quite well when it comes to close friends announcements and pictures. For the most part. Prayer helps a lot as well. I also have been doing quite a bit better than I have in the past year. I think the reaction that I had today was due to a co-worker (*exciting update there as well!) asked me what our plans were if this cycle failed. I don't really know is the answer I gave her.
Since we live our lives according to Air Force law we have to allow the fact that there will be another deployment soon. Not too soon, thankfully, but in a new "regular" slot. So, if this cycle does in fact fail, we do not really know what the concrete plans are for moving forward. Nick likes to think positive (as do I, of course) that it will work and so we do not have to have a plan B. However, even though I remain positive, and ECSTATIC, ridiculously happy even at times at the idea that this WILL work come this fall, even to the extent of planning for our multiples (forty percent chance at twins!) I also am a realist. I realize that this is our last chance at having a child that is genetically ours. I realize that the next step would be to adopt. I also realize that Nick will likely deploy again before we have a chance to do another IVF cycle with the military.
This leaves us with a few options if the cycle fails. Well a ton of options actually.
A.) Since Nick would deploy again before we could do another military cycle (Being that they only do four cycles a year and we would miss two of them during his deployment) We could take out our first loan ( *insert HUGE gulp here, maybe a few drops of sweat on the brow line of freaking out over taking out a loan for fertility issues...) and do a cycle at double the cost here in Arkansas before he leaves.
B.) We could start the long process of adoption and wait until Nick gets back for the October 2012 military cycle. Yes that is the next one that we would be able to make with his deployments. Nick, however does not want to put money into more than one thing at once where as my brain just says....baby, baby, baby, baby, child, child child. However the more rational side, albeit much smaller side, of my brain also realizes that this is smart. Found out a month ago it is $1200 just for the home study! Crazy! It wouldn't be financially smart to be paying all of the out of pocket expenses for adoption and then also try again for IVF while in the middle of an adoption year...would it? I suppose this isn't totally off the table, more discussion could come if we, say, meet a beautiful, young and intelligent teenager who is willing to give us her unborn child? It could happen!
C.) The one that plays on my mind most frequently as I approach the ripe old year of 29. One year away from 30.... And alas my heart feels a lot less traveled than it yearns to be. Austria has sung to my soul since I was about 7 years old and Italy, Greece and France have all been calling to me for over a decade at least. Growing up in a nomadic military family I grew to appreciate culture and travel but not as much as when I met my husband and longed to see places I had never seen with a bottle of local wine, a picnic basket of french cuisine and field of tulips. Dancing under the Eiffel tower listening to Edith Piaf and laying on the beaches of Semolina with a fresh fish taco and Grecian cats beckoning at my feet. Can you tell how much I day dream? :)
So plan C is to take a year off (Gasp!) and spend the money we would have spend on a regular military cycle and take six long glorious weeks in Europe. This can be done. I have spent countless hours researching. Obviously this delays any help we would have in trying to have a child, unless of course, we are blessed with a miracle. It does, however give a TON to look forward to if the cycle does not take.
In the spirit of positive thinking I am going to quit using the term fail and instead substitute it with not taking. I think I like that better! I feel like its better to have a plan in place if the cycle doesn't take take so that I don't feel like there is a pit of despair to sink into. Instead of thinking, "That was heartbreaking! What do we do now???" It would be a lot more comforting to think, "O.k. That was hard but now here is what we are going to do next."
Lots of things to think about.
I actually have been doing quite well when it comes to close friends announcements and pictures. For the most part. Prayer helps a lot as well. I also have been doing quite a bit better than I have in the past year. I think the reaction that I had today was due to a co-worker (*exciting update there as well!) asked me what our plans were if this cycle failed. I don't really know is the answer I gave her.
Since we live our lives according to Air Force law we have to allow the fact that there will be another deployment soon. Not too soon, thankfully, but in a new "regular" slot. So, if this cycle does in fact fail, we do not really know what the concrete plans are for moving forward. Nick likes to think positive (as do I, of course) that it will work and so we do not have to have a plan B. However, even though I remain positive, and ECSTATIC, ridiculously happy even at times at the idea that this WILL work come this fall, even to the extent of planning for our multiples (forty percent chance at twins!) I also am a realist. I realize that this is our last chance at having a child that is genetically ours. I realize that the next step would be to adopt. I also realize that Nick will likely deploy again before we have a chance to do another IVF cycle with the military.
This leaves us with a few options if the cycle fails. Well a ton of options actually.
A.) Since Nick would deploy again before we could do another military cycle (Being that they only do four cycles a year and we would miss two of them during his deployment) We could take out our first loan ( *insert HUGE gulp here, maybe a few drops of sweat on the brow line of freaking out over taking out a loan for fertility issues...) and do a cycle at double the cost here in Arkansas before he leaves.
B.) We could start the long process of adoption and wait until Nick gets back for the October 2012 military cycle. Yes that is the next one that we would be able to make with his deployments. Nick, however does not want to put money into more than one thing at once where as my brain just says....baby, baby, baby, baby, child, child child. However the more rational side, albeit much smaller side, of my brain also realizes that this is smart. Found out a month ago it is $1200 just for the home study! Crazy! It wouldn't be financially smart to be paying all of the out of pocket expenses for adoption and then also try again for IVF while in the middle of an adoption year...would it? I suppose this isn't totally off the table, more discussion could come if we, say, meet a beautiful, young and intelligent teenager who is willing to give us her unborn child? It could happen!
C.) The one that plays on my mind most frequently as I approach the ripe old year of 29. One year away from 30.... And alas my heart feels a lot less traveled than it yearns to be. Austria has sung to my soul since I was about 7 years old and Italy, Greece and France have all been calling to me for over a decade at least. Growing up in a nomadic military family I grew to appreciate culture and travel but not as much as when I met my husband and longed to see places I had never seen with a bottle of local wine, a picnic basket of french cuisine and field of tulips. Dancing under the Eiffel tower listening to Edith Piaf and laying on the beaches of Semolina with a fresh fish taco and Grecian cats beckoning at my feet. Can you tell how much I day dream? :)
So plan C is to take a year off (Gasp!) and spend the money we would have spend on a regular military cycle and take six long glorious weeks in Europe. This can be done. I have spent countless hours researching. Obviously this delays any help we would have in trying to have a child, unless of course, we are blessed with a miracle. It does, however give a TON to look forward to if the cycle does not take.
In the spirit of positive thinking I am going to quit using the term fail and instead substitute it with not taking. I think I like that better! I feel like its better to have a plan in place if the cycle doesn't take take so that I don't feel like there is a pit of despair to sink into. Instead of thinking, "That was heartbreaking! What do we do now???" It would be a lot more comforting to think, "O.k. That was hard but now here is what we are going to do next."
Lots of things to think about.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Third Times The Charm
Hello All,
This particular blog will not be as sharp and witty as the other ones for the simple reason that I am on tylox! I had my third Laparoscopy yesterday! Its an easy out patient surgery is usually easy to recover from. This one, however was a tad harder. I am still pretty sore and majorly loopy. (Don't worry, no attempting to eat dinner with the serving utensils again! That was the first surgery....)
Nick is currently in ALS and could not miss any class time since this is very important to his grade in the class, his new rank as well as the extra money he will get paid when he graduates! I'm pretty pysched about it, but of course it always makes me very proud to see him waltz across any stage in his handsome dress blues. Needless to say that my friend Jessica had to take me and it was nice relaxing at her house with all the babies (really little girls) that made me get well cards and having Jess take care of me after surgeries was the next best thing since Nick couldn't be there. Ahh the sacrifices that we military wives make! Luckily Nick was able to get home early and take care of me.
I had not had any surgeries in my life until we moved to Arkansas....weird?! But since then I have had four surgeries. Once for my adenoids, once for tonsillectomy.and two laperoscopic surgeries this will make for the fifth surgery! Not so horrible the worst pain I've had out of those surgeries was without exception was the tonsil removal. I did, however lose 12 pounds aside from the pain that was great! ;)
This surgery, recovery is finding to be a little more difficult than the other two laperoscopys in the past because of what they found when they went in. It turned out that I had a couple of scar tissues from the endometriosis on my uterus, some on my BLADDER, freaky to me since I have never had any scar tissues on any other place besides my uterus. Also they found scar tissues on the right ovary and the left ovary was actually fused to my uterine wall from the endo. Which is scary because at one point, my doctor in texas told me there was no need for me to have this surgery if all I was doing it for was to increase my chances at the IVF this fall since there was not enough research to show that it helped any. That, was one of my reasons for getting another one, yes, but the biggest reason was that my periods has slowly over the past year became just as worse as they had been before my last surgery...
In April, Im not sure if I mentioned this or not, Dr. King, (my texas doctor) told me that he wasn't sure if they were going to be moving forward with the IVF this fall because the civilian company they were working with went our of business and now the Army wants to take over the program on the Air Force base. So there was not a definitive answer of when it would proceed. Agonizing over the wait to find out yes or no for the past two and a half months was horrible! I was starting to really get into finding out about private adoptions as well as doing some more research on the Surrogacy issue.
BUT Dr. king called me just a few days ago and updated me with the latest information telling me that they usually have about fifty couples that they deal with each cycle. (They only do four IVF treatments a year due to lack of staffing) Since now they are contracted with a brand new civilian company, one that has better established roots in the community and the Army has now taken over the medical records part of the process that they will be able do about half of the participants and that Nick and I would for sure be one of the couples. YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!
So its looking like we are going to head down there late August/Early September to start the process! It has been a long crazy wait since we started off being a patient at Wilford Hall (the hospital in Texas, where the IVF will happen, located on Lackland Air Force Base) in January of 2010. Since we have been there longest patients there that we were for sure going to be able to be one of the couples to be treated.
We need prayers right now. I am starting a new job in my dental career on Friday and I pray that when I tell them I need about three weeks off so soon (early September) that they will want to keep me! That right now is my biggest anxiety. Hopefully I can show them what a good work ethic I have and that even though I need that much time off so soon that I would still be a viable asset to the company!!
A friend at work said it pretty well, "You have been waiting for almost 14 months on this list to get into your In Vitro and I know how excited you are to start this new job but what is more important? If they don't want to keep you because of it you don't want to work there anyways." Nicely put.
Hope for the best huh? They all seem to be pretty nice and understanding there from what I could tell on my working interview as well as my original interview so here's hoping they will be understanding with this issue to.
Sorry if this post looks a little scrambled grammar and thought process wise, I had my third surgery yesterday and am on some heavy duty pain killers! Also pray that we will be able to get into the Fisher House because otherwise we would won't be able to afford hotels for three weeks! For those of you who who don't know what the Fisher house is, its sort of like a nice Ronald McDonald house/houses on base for those traveling from out of state to have treatment at Wilford Hall. They are really big nice houses that you can stay in for free! Each room looks like a hotel room with its own bathroom and one or two beds. And they have a community kitchen that looks like cute little house kitchen that each room has their own cupboard and shelf in the fridge. This way we dont have to eat out so much since we have a kitchen! But they are on a first come first serve basis and noone has to leave until they are done with treatment at Wilford Hall which in certain cases is indefinite. So pray for us that there will be a spot open when we head down that way!
Meds ares starting to kick in so its off to bed I go.
This particular blog will not be as sharp and witty as the other ones for the simple reason that I am on tylox! I had my third Laparoscopy yesterday! Its an easy out patient surgery is usually easy to recover from. This one, however was a tad harder. I am still pretty sore and majorly loopy. (Don't worry, no attempting to eat dinner with the serving utensils again! That was the first surgery....)
Nick is currently in ALS and could not miss any class time since this is very important to his grade in the class, his new rank as well as the extra money he will get paid when he graduates! I'm pretty pysched about it, but of course it always makes me very proud to see him waltz across any stage in his handsome dress blues. Needless to say that my friend Jessica had to take me and it was nice relaxing at her house with all the babies (really little girls) that made me get well cards and having Jess take care of me after surgeries was the next best thing since Nick couldn't be there. Ahh the sacrifices that we military wives make! Luckily Nick was able to get home early and take care of me.
I had not had any surgeries in my life until we moved to Arkansas....weird?! But since then I have had four surgeries. Once for my adenoids, once for tonsillectomy.and two laperoscopic surgeries this will make for the fifth surgery! Not so horrible the worst pain I've had out of those surgeries was without exception was the tonsil removal. I did, however lose 12 pounds aside from the pain that was great! ;)
This surgery, recovery is finding to be a little more difficult than the other two laperoscopys in the past because of what they found when they went in. It turned out that I had a couple of scar tissues from the endometriosis on my uterus, some on my BLADDER, freaky to me since I have never had any scar tissues on any other place besides my uterus. Also they found scar tissues on the right ovary and the left ovary was actually fused to my uterine wall from the endo. Which is scary because at one point, my doctor in texas told me there was no need for me to have this surgery if all I was doing it for was to increase my chances at the IVF this fall since there was not enough research to show that it helped any. That, was one of my reasons for getting another one, yes, but the biggest reason was that my periods has slowly over the past year became just as worse as they had been before my last surgery...
In April, Im not sure if I mentioned this or not, Dr. King, (my texas doctor) told me that he wasn't sure if they were going to be moving forward with the IVF this fall because the civilian company they were working with went our of business and now the Army wants to take over the program on the Air Force base. So there was not a definitive answer of when it would proceed. Agonizing over the wait to find out yes or no for the past two and a half months was horrible! I was starting to really get into finding out about private adoptions as well as doing some more research on the Surrogacy issue.
BUT Dr. king called me just a few days ago and updated me with the latest information telling me that they usually have about fifty couples that they deal with each cycle. (They only do four IVF treatments a year due to lack of staffing) Since now they are contracted with a brand new civilian company, one that has better established roots in the community and the Army has now taken over the medical records part of the process that they will be able do about half of the participants and that Nick and I would for sure be one of the couples. YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!
So its looking like we are going to head down there late August/Early September to start the process! It has been a long crazy wait since we started off being a patient at Wilford Hall (the hospital in Texas, where the IVF will happen, located on Lackland Air Force Base) in January of 2010. Since we have been there longest patients there that we were for sure going to be able to be one of the couples to be treated.
We need prayers right now. I am starting a new job in my dental career on Friday and I pray that when I tell them I need about three weeks off so soon (early September) that they will want to keep me! That right now is my biggest anxiety. Hopefully I can show them what a good work ethic I have and that even though I need that much time off so soon that I would still be a viable asset to the company!!
A friend at work said it pretty well, "You have been waiting for almost 14 months on this list to get into your In Vitro and I know how excited you are to start this new job but what is more important? If they don't want to keep you because of it you don't want to work there anyways." Nicely put.
Hope for the best huh? They all seem to be pretty nice and understanding there from what I could tell on my working interview as well as my original interview so here's hoping they will be understanding with this issue to.
Sorry if this post looks a little scrambled grammar and thought process wise, I had my third surgery yesterday and am on some heavy duty pain killers! Also pray that we will be able to get into the Fisher House because otherwise we would won't be able to afford hotels for three weeks! For those of you who who don't know what the Fisher house is, its sort of like a nice Ronald McDonald house/houses on base for those traveling from out of state to have treatment at Wilford Hall. They are really big nice houses that you can stay in for free! Each room looks like a hotel room with its own bathroom and one or two beds. And they have a community kitchen that looks like cute little house kitchen that each room has their own cupboard and shelf in the fridge. This way we dont have to eat out so much since we have a kitchen! But they are on a first come first serve basis and noone has to leave until they are done with treatment at Wilford Hall which in certain cases is indefinite. So pray for us that there will be a spot open when we head down that way!
Meds ares starting to kick in so its off to bed I go.
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