Ok, so I guess time for an update since I guess there is an update to give in the first place, for that, I am thankful.
So, after having cancelled (or as the Lieutenant I spoke with said this past Friday, indefinatly postponed), for three times since April, we are, as of Friday July 29th, back on again. She called to ask me why she hadn't received my latest blood test results. I just stared into the phone and told her I thought it was cancelled, (see her reply above.) The conversation went as such....
1.) It is definitely back on (and by definitely I mean 90 percent its a go for a September cycle and I won't know more until about a week from now if its a 100% go. Although I am in doubt about it ever truly being confirmed until we are in the car driving to Texas!)
2.) I am to call her when I start my August cycle to get put on the meds again, ( I was only on them for a day and half before she called to say that it was "postponed" again about three weeks ago.) I will be on the meds for about 2 weeks and am to be in Texas no later than September 5th for my baseline blood draw. (which starts the entire process.)
3.) Embryo transfer (praying that we get embryos, because that is not a gaurantee either, pretty much nothing is a gaurentee until we are pregnant! And to be really honest, with as long as we have been trying I can't say that I will believe it until I am holding that sweet miracle in our arms!) will be around 10-12 days after the first blood draw.
4.) We will be in the San Antonio area for a total of three weeks, (EEK!) and should know if we are pregnant by early October. Happy Birthday to ME!!! Well Us, haha, I was thinking that she would be a really great birthday present. And as I just typed that I realize that I put she, but honest to goodness I typed it without hesitation, very much with the flow! I will be ESTATIC with either sex though!
Its kind of funny whenever I refer to our unconcieved baby I always call it a she and Nick always calls it a he. :) Also as I type this, my husband just brought me fresh romaine salad before our dinner! What a lucky girl I am to be married to someone who loves to treat me like a princess! He will definately be a good Daddy someday.
So the long and short of it is, I am currently on cycle day 29, as of August 3rd, 2011. Which is making me a tad crazy since I made it to cycle day 24 last month so now the brain is doing tricks with me thinking I could possibly be LATE on my own! I have in the past however, gone as late as cycle day 33. SO with that being said I'm trying incrediably hard not to think about that tiny fact. While it would be miraculous, truly, to be pregnant on our own, I am semi-excited about headed to Texas in September.
Only Semi-excited in case it gets postponed again. Withholding it until we are in the car, playing Jack Johnson and loving our road to Baby!
Psalms 39:7
But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Good News!
Oops! Forgot to mention that all the prayers that the new job would be accepting of me having to take two to three weeks off this fall for the IVF have turned out! Not to disclose too much but more than one girl there has had problems either conceiving or with Endometriosis! What a small world it is.
When I asked my boss if she thought it was ok that I needed that much time off so soon she replied with,
"Sweetie, that is life! It happens whether you plan for it or not. You having a child is very important to you, don't worry about having to lose your job!"
Basically it was a non issue.
So, YAY!
When I asked my boss if she thought it was ok that I needed that much time off so soon she replied with,
"Sweetie, that is life! It happens whether you plan for it or not. You having a child is very important to you, don't worry about having to lose your job!"
Basically it was a non issue.
So, YAY!
Thoughts
Had a moment of almost.... bile? It is crazy how close we are to the possibility of success yet the devil seems to seep its way into my unaccompanied thoughts! Facebook is not good for the wandering mind I have decided. Any sort of stalking and my mind goes places it should not. As in, why is everyone in this picture pregnant? How weird. Everyone. Even though we are SO close to our IVF that horrible thought still seemed to scream at me as I stared at each picture. So, I closed Facebook and decided to journal instead.
I actually have been doing quite well when it comes to close friends announcements and pictures. For the most part. Prayer helps a lot as well. I also have been doing quite a bit better than I have in the past year. I think the reaction that I had today was due to a co-worker (*exciting update there as well!) asked me what our plans were if this cycle failed. I don't really know is the answer I gave her.
Since we live our lives according to Air Force law we have to allow the fact that there will be another deployment soon. Not too soon, thankfully, but in a new "regular" slot. So, if this cycle does in fact fail, we do not really know what the concrete plans are for moving forward. Nick likes to think positive (as do I, of course) that it will work and so we do not have to have a plan B. However, even though I remain positive, and ECSTATIC, ridiculously happy even at times at the idea that this WILL work come this fall, even to the extent of planning for our multiples (forty percent chance at twins!) I also am a realist. I realize that this is our last chance at having a child that is genetically ours. I realize that the next step would be to adopt. I also realize that Nick will likely deploy again before we have a chance to do another IVF cycle with the military.
This leaves us with a few options if the cycle fails. Well a ton of options actually.
A.) Since Nick would deploy again before we could do another military cycle (Being that they only do four cycles a year and we would miss two of them during his deployment) We could take out our first loan ( *insert HUGE gulp here, maybe a few drops of sweat on the brow line of freaking out over taking out a loan for fertility issues...) and do a cycle at double the cost here in Arkansas before he leaves.
B.) We could start the long process of adoption and wait until Nick gets back for the October 2012 military cycle. Yes that is the next one that we would be able to make with his deployments. Nick, however does not want to put money into more than one thing at once where as my brain just says....baby, baby, baby, baby, child, child child. However the more rational side, albeit much smaller side, of my brain also realizes that this is smart. Found out a month ago it is $1200 just for the home study! Crazy! It wouldn't be financially smart to be paying all of the out of pocket expenses for adoption and then also try again for IVF while in the middle of an adoption year...would it? I suppose this isn't totally off the table, more discussion could come if we, say, meet a beautiful, young and intelligent teenager who is willing to give us her unborn child? It could happen!
C.) The one that plays on my mind most frequently as I approach the ripe old year of 29. One year away from 30.... And alas my heart feels a lot less traveled than it yearns to be. Austria has sung to my soul since I was about 7 years old and Italy, Greece and France have all been calling to me for over a decade at least. Growing up in a nomadic military family I grew to appreciate culture and travel but not as much as when I met my husband and longed to see places I had never seen with a bottle of local wine, a picnic basket of french cuisine and field of tulips. Dancing under the Eiffel tower listening to Edith Piaf and laying on the beaches of Semolina with a fresh fish taco and Grecian cats beckoning at my feet. Can you tell how much I day dream? :)
So plan C is to take a year off (Gasp!) and spend the money we would have spend on a regular military cycle and take six long glorious weeks in Europe. This can be done. I have spent countless hours researching. Obviously this delays any help we would have in trying to have a child, unless of course, we are blessed with a miracle. It does, however give a TON to look forward to if the cycle does not take.
In the spirit of positive thinking I am going to quit using the term fail and instead substitute it with not taking. I think I like that better! I feel like its better to have a plan in place if the cycle doesn't take take so that I don't feel like there is a pit of despair to sink into. Instead of thinking, "That was heartbreaking! What do we do now???" It would be a lot more comforting to think, "O.k. That was hard but now here is what we are going to do next."
Lots of things to think about.
I actually have been doing quite well when it comes to close friends announcements and pictures. For the most part. Prayer helps a lot as well. I also have been doing quite a bit better than I have in the past year. I think the reaction that I had today was due to a co-worker (*exciting update there as well!) asked me what our plans were if this cycle failed. I don't really know is the answer I gave her.
Since we live our lives according to Air Force law we have to allow the fact that there will be another deployment soon. Not too soon, thankfully, but in a new "regular" slot. So, if this cycle does in fact fail, we do not really know what the concrete plans are for moving forward. Nick likes to think positive (as do I, of course) that it will work and so we do not have to have a plan B. However, even though I remain positive, and ECSTATIC, ridiculously happy even at times at the idea that this WILL work come this fall, even to the extent of planning for our multiples (forty percent chance at twins!) I also am a realist. I realize that this is our last chance at having a child that is genetically ours. I realize that the next step would be to adopt. I also realize that Nick will likely deploy again before we have a chance to do another IVF cycle with the military.
This leaves us with a few options if the cycle fails. Well a ton of options actually.
A.) Since Nick would deploy again before we could do another military cycle (Being that they only do four cycles a year and we would miss two of them during his deployment) We could take out our first loan ( *insert HUGE gulp here, maybe a few drops of sweat on the brow line of freaking out over taking out a loan for fertility issues...) and do a cycle at double the cost here in Arkansas before he leaves.
B.) We could start the long process of adoption and wait until Nick gets back for the October 2012 military cycle. Yes that is the next one that we would be able to make with his deployments. Nick, however does not want to put money into more than one thing at once where as my brain just says....baby, baby, baby, baby, child, child child. However the more rational side, albeit much smaller side, of my brain also realizes that this is smart. Found out a month ago it is $1200 just for the home study! Crazy! It wouldn't be financially smart to be paying all of the out of pocket expenses for adoption and then also try again for IVF while in the middle of an adoption year...would it? I suppose this isn't totally off the table, more discussion could come if we, say, meet a beautiful, young and intelligent teenager who is willing to give us her unborn child? It could happen!
C.) The one that plays on my mind most frequently as I approach the ripe old year of 29. One year away from 30.... And alas my heart feels a lot less traveled than it yearns to be. Austria has sung to my soul since I was about 7 years old and Italy, Greece and France have all been calling to me for over a decade at least. Growing up in a nomadic military family I grew to appreciate culture and travel but not as much as when I met my husband and longed to see places I had never seen with a bottle of local wine, a picnic basket of french cuisine and field of tulips. Dancing under the Eiffel tower listening to Edith Piaf and laying on the beaches of Semolina with a fresh fish taco and Grecian cats beckoning at my feet. Can you tell how much I day dream? :)
So plan C is to take a year off (Gasp!) and spend the money we would have spend on a regular military cycle and take six long glorious weeks in Europe. This can be done. I have spent countless hours researching. Obviously this delays any help we would have in trying to have a child, unless of course, we are blessed with a miracle. It does, however give a TON to look forward to if the cycle does not take.
In the spirit of positive thinking I am going to quit using the term fail and instead substitute it with not taking. I think I like that better! I feel like its better to have a plan in place if the cycle doesn't take take so that I don't feel like there is a pit of despair to sink into. Instead of thinking, "That was heartbreaking! What do we do now???" It would be a lot more comforting to think, "O.k. That was hard but now here is what we are going to do next."
Lots of things to think about.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Third Times The Charm
Hello All,
This particular blog will not be as sharp and witty as the other ones for the simple reason that I am on tylox! I had my third Laparoscopy yesterday! Its an easy out patient surgery is usually easy to recover from. This one, however was a tad harder. I am still pretty sore and majorly loopy. (Don't worry, no attempting to eat dinner with the serving utensils again! That was the first surgery....)
Nick is currently in ALS and could not miss any class time since this is very important to his grade in the class, his new rank as well as the extra money he will get paid when he graduates! I'm pretty pysched about it, but of course it always makes me very proud to see him waltz across any stage in his handsome dress blues. Needless to say that my friend Jessica had to take me and it was nice relaxing at her house with all the babies (really little girls) that made me get well cards and having Jess take care of me after surgeries was the next best thing since Nick couldn't be there. Ahh the sacrifices that we military wives make! Luckily Nick was able to get home early and take care of me.
I had not had any surgeries in my life until we moved to Arkansas....weird?! But since then I have had four surgeries. Once for my adenoids, once for tonsillectomy.and two laperoscopic surgeries this will make for the fifth surgery! Not so horrible the worst pain I've had out of those surgeries was without exception was the tonsil removal. I did, however lose 12 pounds aside from the pain that was great! ;)
This surgery, recovery is finding to be a little more difficult than the other two laperoscopys in the past because of what they found when they went in. It turned out that I had a couple of scar tissues from the endometriosis on my uterus, some on my BLADDER, freaky to me since I have never had any scar tissues on any other place besides my uterus. Also they found scar tissues on the right ovary and the left ovary was actually fused to my uterine wall from the endo. Which is scary because at one point, my doctor in texas told me there was no need for me to have this surgery if all I was doing it for was to increase my chances at the IVF this fall since there was not enough research to show that it helped any. That, was one of my reasons for getting another one, yes, but the biggest reason was that my periods has slowly over the past year became just as worse as they had been before my last surgery...
In April, Im not sure if I mentioned this or not, Dr. King, (my texas doctor) told me that he wasn't sure if they were going to be moving forward with the IVF this fall because the civilian company they were working with went our of business and now the Army wants to take over the program on the Air Force base. So there was not a definitive answer of when it would proceed. Agonizing over the wait to find out yes or no for the past two and a half months was horrible! I was starting to really get into finding out about private adoptions as well as doing some more research on the Surrogacy issue.
BUT Dr. king called me just a few days ago and updated me with the latest information telling me that they usually have about fifty couples that they deal with each cycle. (They only do four IVF treatments a year due to lack of staffing) Since now they are contracted with a brand new civilian company, one that has better established roots in the community and the Army has now taken over the medical records part of the process that they will be able do about half of the participants and that Nick and I would for sure be one of the couples. YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!
So its looking like we are going to head down there late August/Early September to start the process! It has been a long crazy wait since we started off being a patient at Wilford Hall (the hospital in Texas, where the IVF will happen, located on Lackland Air Force Base) in January of 2010. Since we have been there longest patients there that we were for sure going to be able to be one of the couples to be treated.
We need prayers right now. I am starting a new job in my dental career on Friday and I pray that when I tell them I need about three weeks off so soon (early September) that they will want to keep me! That right now is my biggest anxiety. Hopefully I can show them what a good work ethic I have and that even though I need that much time off so soon that I would still be a viable asset to the company!!
A friend at work said it pretty well, "You have been waiting for almost 14 months on this list to get into your In Vitro and I know how excited you are to start this new job but what is more important? If they don't want to keep you because of it you don't want to work there anyways." Nicely put.
Hope for the best huh? They all seem to be pretty nice and understanding there from what I could tell on my working interview as well as my original interview so here's hoping they will be understanding with this issue to.
Sorry if this post looks a little scrambled grammar and thought process wise, I had my third surgery yesterday and am on some heavy duty pain killers! Also pray that we will be able to get into the Fisher House because otherwise we would won't be able to afford hotels for three weeks! For those of you who who don't know what the Fisher house is, its sort of like a nice Ronald McDonald house/houses on base for those traveling from out of state to have treatment at Wilford Hall. They are really big nice houses that you can stay in for free! Each room looks like a hotel room with its own bathroom and one or two beds. And they have a community kitchen that looks like cute little house kitchen that each room has their own cupboard and shelf in the fridge. This way we dont have to eat out so much since we have a kitchen! But they are on a first come first serve basis and noone has to leave until they are done with treatment at Wilford Hall which in certain cases is indefinite. So pray for us that there will be a spot open when we head down that way!
Meds ares starting to kick in so its off to bed I go.
This particular blog will not be as sharp and witty as the other ones for the simple reason that I am on tylox! I had my third Laparoscopy yesterday! Its an easy out patient surgery is usually easy to recover from. This one, however was a tad harder. I am still pretty sore and majorly loopy. (Don't worry, no attempting to eat dinner with the serving utensils again! That was the first surgery....)
Nick is currently in ALS and could not miss any class time since this is very important to his grade in the class, his new rank as well as the extra money he will get paid when he graduates! I'm pretty pysched about it, but of course it always makes me very proud to see him waltz across any stage in his handsome dress blues. Needless to say that my friend Jessica had to take me and it was nice relaxing at her house with all the babies (really little girls) that made me get well cards and having Jess take care of me after surgeries was the next best thing since Nick couldn't be there. Ahh the sacrifices that we military wives make! Luckily Nick was able to get home early and take care of me.
I had not had any surgeries in my life until we moved to Arkansas....weird?! But since then I have had four surgeries. Once for my adenoids, once for tonsillectomy.and two laperoscopic surgeries this will make for the fifth surgery! Not so horrible the worst pain I've had out of those surgeries was without exception was the tonsil removal. I did, however lose 12 pounds aside from the pain that was great! ;)
This surgery, recovery is finding to be a little more difficult than the other two laperoscopys in the past because of what they found when they went in. It turned out that I had a couple of scar tissues from the endometriosis on my uterus, some on my BLADDER, freaky to me since I have never had any scar tissues on any other place besides my uterus. Also they found scar tissues on the right ovary and the left ovary was actually fused to my uterine wall from the endo. Which is scary because at one point, my doctor in texas told me there was no need for me to have this surgery if all I was doing it for was to increase my chances at the IVF this fall since there was not enough research to show that it helped any. That, was one of my reasons for getting another one, yes, but the biggest reason was that my periods has slowly over the past year became just as worse as they had been before my last surgery...
In April, Im not sure if I mentioned this or not, Dr. King, (my texas doctor) told me that he wasn't sure if they were going to be moving forward with the IVF this fall because the civilian company they were working with went our of business and now the Army wants to take over the program on the Air Force base. So there was not a definitive answer of when it would proceed. Agonizing over the wait to find out yes or no for the past two and a half months was horrible! I was starting to really get into finding out about private adoptions as well as doing some more research on the Surrogacy issue.
BUT Dr. king called me just a few days ago and updated me with the latest information telling me that they usually have about fifty couples that they deal with each cycle. (They only do four IVF treatments a year due to lack of staffing) Since now they are contracted with a brand new civilian company, one that has better established roots in the community and the Army has now taken over the medical records part of the process that they will be able do about half of the participants and that Nick and I would for sure be one of the couples. YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!
So its looking like we are going to head down there late August/Early September to start the process! It has been a long crazy wait since we started off being a patient at Wilford Hall (the hospital in Texas, where the IVF will happen, located on Lackland Air Force Base) in January of 2010. Since we have been there longest patients there that we were for sure going to be able to be one of the couples to be treated.
We need prayers right now. I am starting a new job in my dental career on Friday and I pray that when I tell them I need about three weeks off so soon (early September) that they will want to keep me! That right now is my biggest anxiety. Hopefully I can show them what a good work ethic I have and that even though I need that much time off so soon that I would still be a viable asset to the company!!
A friend at work said it pretty well, "You have been waiting for almost 14 months on this list to get into your In Vitro and I know how excited you are to start this new job but what is more important? If they don't want to keep you because of it you don't want to work there anyways." Nicely put.
Hope for the best huh? They all seem to be pretty nice and understanding there from what I could tell on my working interview as well as my original interview so here's hoping they will be understanding with this issue to.
Sorry if this post looks a little scrambled grammar and thought process wise, I had my third surgery yesterday and am on some heavy duty pain killers! Also pray that we will be able to get into the Fisher House because otherwise we would won't be able to afford hotels for three weeks! For those of you who who don't know what the Fisher house is, its sort of like a nice Ronald McDonald house/houses on base for those traveling from out of state to have treatment at Wilford Hall. They are really big nice houses that you can stay in for free! Each room looks like a hotel room with its own bathroom and one or two beds. And they have a community kitchen that looks like cute little house kitchen that each room has their own cupboard and shelf in the fridge. This way we dont have to eat out so much since we have a kitchen! But they are on a first come first serve basis and noone has to leave until they are done with treatment at Wilford Hall which in certain cases is indefinite. So pray for us that there will be a spot open when we head down that way!
Meds ares starting to kick in so its off to bed I go.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Ridiculous amounts of hope
Ok so I have been bad with this writing a blog thing and its mainly due to working at night and going to clinics during the day for school has been very taxing...speaking of taxes see more on the anger issue with that this year!!!
So here is an update for the two of you who are actually reading this thing. (thats ok, its more for the relaxation therapy of journaling!)
The civilian company that works with the Air Force to conduct the research and pay the employees that do...well to be honest I'm not quite sure what they do because the Air Force doctors who are enlisted in the service are the actual doctors who are doing the procedure, but the civilian company is a big part of who we are paying and what not....
So my doctor calls me from Texas (where we are having the procedure done) two weeks ago to tell me that the foundation that they have been working with for years abruptly went out of business two days prior to him calling me. He was calling to make sure that we had not sent our check for $4800 yet as they were still taking payments and not telling anyone they had shut down.....I mean you really hear about those things happening on the news but I guess the saying has to come from somewhere....You never think they will happen to you. No, we had not send a payment yet because Nicks signature is required on a lot of the paperwork and also we are still awaiting our tax refund witch will complete our funds needed for the procedure.
On the same front, there is two military hospitals in the United States that do fertility treatments for active duty military and their families. One is Walter Reed Memorial in Maryland and the other is Lackland Air Force Base in Texas. One is run by the Army and one is run by the Air Force. Apparently the Army has decided to take over the entire program and run the one based in Texas run by the Air Force. What that means is that now they are having to switch medical records and systems and transfer everything over....
The good news (if you can call it that) is that they have already contracted with a new civilian company that has a better established history and longer roots in the community so that part is already taken care of. What I was informed was that there is a chance that we could be pushed back to the January 2012 cycle due to the switching of the medical systems and the Army taking over the new contract from the Air Force. I was told not to buy plane tickets (thankfully we are driving) but to continue to hope that we are moving forward with the planned August cycle. (end of July/early August)
Basically to not count my chickens before they have hatched yet to continue to believe that they will hatch in August! (Or that "my chick/chickens" will be hatching in May of 2012 if the IVF works the first time!)
We also have to pray that the Fisher House (a non-profit military "Ronald McDonald" house on base, actually there are four houses with like six suites each) will have availibility for us. We stayed with them last March when we went down for our IUI (inter-utero insemination) but you will not know if there is a room available until the week before you leave! Since we were told to expect to be in the area for 22 days I know we wont be able to afford a hotel for that long and the Fisher House is our only hope. They have a really neat seat up there, At one of the houses there are six suites located inside, each with a bedroom and bathroom. (like a hotel room) and each house has a common room, living room, and huge kitchen. Each person has their own shelf in the fridge and cabinet. The only hang up is that people who are staying there are coming from across the country for treatment at Wilford Hall. (the hospital there that we are having our procedure done at). So once you are accepted there as a resident you have no limit on how long you can stay. As long as you are receiving treatment there you may stay at the Fisher House. There are people that are there for months at a time so it is just a matter of having a room available.
On to the taxes....I filed ours on April fifth. Yes, late I know this. However i knew we would be doing direct deposit which takes up to eight days and at the time I had not received our package from Wilford Hall about our IVF information which states that our check for $4800 needs to have been received by June fifth. Had I have known that earlier I would have filed in January to ensure we would have had the funds as early as possible. Today is April 26th and we still do not have our much needed refund. After two long hours on the phone with the IRS I learned that everyone who got the 2008 Homebuyers Credit is having delays in getting their refunds back since this is the first repayment year. Apparently they are having some sort of issue with the computer program that is set up for taking the repayments and this is going to delay us getting our refund at the latest of May 27th. Nine days before our payment has to be in Texas.
After talking to a very nice IRS man he offered to file a hardship case in our name and we are supposed to be getting a personal agent that will be researching our account and hopefully that issue will be resolved within 14 work days from now. Which is sooner than May 27th. As horrified as I am that it could take that long I definitely feel bad for all the IRS agents that have to deal with irate people about their two month delay on getting their refunds. I was not irate just stressed out and actually surprised myself at how calm and attitude free I was with this agent. I'm sure it had to do with the fact that he was adamant that he was doing everything to help and was very nice.
So a ton of roadblocks on the way to our sweet blessing but we will prevail somehow!!! Just take a deep breath, do some yoga and pray, pray pray.
So here is an update for the two of you who are actually reading this thing. (thats ok, its more for the relaxation therapy of journaling!)
The civilian company that works with the Air Force to conduct the research and pay the employees that do...well to be honest I'm not quite sure what they do because the Air Force doctors who are enlisted in the service are the actual doctors who are doing the procedure, but the civilian company is a big part of who we are paying and what not....
So my doctor calls me from Texas (where we are having the procedure done) two weeks ago to tell me that the foundation that they have been working with for years abruptly went out of business two days prior to him calling me. He was calling to make sure that we had not sent our check for $4800 yet as they were still taking payments and not telling anyone they had shut down.....I mean you really hear about those things happening on the news but I guess the saying has to come from somewhere....You never think they will happen to you. No, we had not send a payment yet because Nicks signature is required on a lot of the paperwork and also we are still awaiting our tax refund witch will complete our funds needed for the procedure.
On the same front, there is two military hospitals in the United States that do fertility treatments for active duty military and their families. One is Walter Reed Memorial in Maryland and the other is Lackland Air Force Base in Texas. One is run by the Army and one is run by the Air Force. Apparently the Army has decided to take over the entire program and run the one based in Texas run by the Air Force. What that means is that now they are having to switch medical records and systems and transfer everything over....
The good news (if you can call it that) is that they have already contracted with a new civilian company that has a better established history and longer roots in the community so that part is already taken care of. What I was informed was that there is a chance that we could be pushed back to the January 2012 cycle due to the switching of the medical systems and the Army taking over the new contract from the Air Force. I was told not to buy plane tickets (thankfully we are driving) but to continue to hope that we are moving forward with the planned August cycle. (end of July/early August)
Basically to not count my chickens before they have hatched yet to continue to believe that they will hatch in August! (Or that "my chick/chickens" will be hatching in May of 2012 if the IVF works the first time!)
We also have to pray that the Fisher House (a non-profit military "Ronald McDonald" house on base, actually there are four houses with like six suites each) will have availibility for us. We stayed with them last March when we went down for our IUI (inter-utero insemination) but you will not know if there is a room available until the week before you leave! Since we were told to expect to be in the area for 22 days I know we wont be able to afford a hotel for that long and the Fisher House is our only hope. They have a really neat seat up there, At one of the houses there are six suites located inside, each with a bedroom and bathroom. (like a hotel room) and each house has a common room, living room, and huge kitchen. Each person has their own shelf in the fridge and cabinet. The only hang up is that people who are staying there are coming from across the country for treatment at Wilford Hall. (the hospital there that we are having our procedure done at). So once you are accepted there as a resident you have no limit on how long you can stay. As long as you are receiving treatment there you may stay at the Fisher House. There are people that are there for months at a time so it is just a matter of having a room available.
On to the taxes....I filed ours on April fifth. Yes, late I know this. However i knew we would be doing direct deposit which takes up to eight days and at the time I had not received our package from Wilford Hall about our IVF information which states that our check for $4800 needs to have been received by June fifth. Had I have known that earlier I would have filed in January to ensure we would have had the funds as early as possible. Today is April 26th and we still do not have our much needed refund. After two long hours on the phone with the IRS I learned that everyone who got the 2008 Homebuyers Credit is having delays in getting their refunds back since this is the first repayment year. Apparently they are having some sort of issue with the computer program that is set up for taking the repayments and this is going to delay us getting our refund at the latest of May 27th. Nine days before our payment has to be in Texas.
After talking to a very nice IRS man he offered to file a hardship case in our name and we are supposed to be getting a personal agent that will be researching our account and hopefully that issue will be resolved within 14 work days from now. Which is sooner than May 27th. As horrified as I am that it could take that long I definitely feel bad for all the IRS agents that have to deal with irate people about their two month delay on getting their refunds. I was not irate just stressed out and actually surprised myself at how calm and attitude free I was with this agent. I'm sure it had to do with the fact that he was adamant that he was doing everything to help and was very nice.
So a ton of roadblocks on the way to our sweet blessing but we will prevail somehow!!! Just take a deep breath, do some yoga and pray, pray pray.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Our Infertility: A History
A little history of our journey through Infertility
Nick and I have been married for four years and have been trying to conceive for three and a half. As soon as we decided it was time to try for a baby I went right away to check and see if I was ok.
I have had horrible periods my whole life but no one ever suggested anything was wrong. Normal people take pamprin or midol for their pain and I was taking 1600 milligrams of motrin just to get a dull ache for the pain. Throwing up, fevers, sweating and chills went happily right along with getting my period every month. Needless to say I wanted to get checked out before we started our adventure.
The first step in your infertility journey is to make sure that your husbands "swimmers" are legit. Since every female test is considered to be invasive the doctors always want to rule out what is called "male factor" before they start testing on the girls. So poor Nick had to "donate" three times on base over a period of two months because the first sample came back with a poor result. Needless to say after following up with the urologist and a few more samples, we do have "male factor." What that means is that we have poor motility and poor count.
Next we moved on to testing me. I went to a doctor who said that she thought I might have Endometriosis. To make a long story short she convinced me to have a laparoscopy done that would be minimally invasive and if she found the disease she could burn it off. I was surprised having had terrible periods my whole life that no one had ever suggested that I have this disease. The doctor told me she thought it was because I didn't have all the symptoms, which is what they call "atypical." The surgery took place in 2008 and afterwards she told me she saw no signs of Endometriosis.
I had this surgery during Nicks first five month deployment to Iraq.
This was troubling since my periods seemed to grow worse each month and twice I had to go to the ER and get drugs intravenously to stop the pain. Tricare referred us to the Reproductive specialist in Little Rock and to a wonderful doctor named Dr. Miller. This was about six months after the first laparoscopy with the doctor that said I did not have Endometriosis. Dr. Miller asked if I minded doing another surgery for him to look around and see if the first doctor was wrong in her diagnosis. He told me that since it was his specialty he knew to look for things that she couldn't see. Since insurance covered it and I could go to work the next day I said yes.
After this surgery Dr. Miller woke me up with some interesting pictures. I had Endometriosis EVERYWHERE. He said he had no idea what the other doctor was looking for but you didn't have to be a specialist to see all the locations of the disease everywhere inside of me. He burned all of the spots off and told me that fifty percent of people who have the surgery once, fixes the disease and it never returns and the other half has to have repeated surgery every few months or every year.
Two weeks after the second surgery, we went through another five month deployment to Iraq.
As of today I am scheduled to go back in for another surgery because the disease has continued to grow.
Dr. Miller also discovered that I had what was called cervical stenosis, which means I have a much smaller than normal opening to my cervix. Having a baby will fix this problem forever but with the Endometriosis it makes it much harder to get pregnant in the first place. He told me with the three problems that we have:
1. My Endometriosis
2. Cervical Stenosis
3. Male Factor
We had a less than two percent chance of getting pregnant on our own. :(
I was put on 15 milligrams of vicoden to control the pain of my periods and we started our drug cocktail of fertility meds. Finally an answer to my pain AND the beginning of starting our family!!
Our insurance covers all the medications and ultrasounds that you have prior to either an IUI or an IVF but it does not cover the actual treatment itself. So, with that knowledge in hand we set off to do a three month course of clomid with timed intercourse. Clomid, is a pill that you take for four to five days on your period to stimulate your follicles to produce larger eggs, also has the added benefit of making you hormonally insane.
When that method failed, we moved on to stronger drugs, an injectable called Gonal F. We did a few cycles with this with no success and were told that we needed to move on to In Vitro to have the best chance at getting pregnant.
At this time we happen to discover that Wilford Hall at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio was one of the two hospitals in the United States that did fertility treatments at a reduced cost to military families. There was a six month to year wait to get an appointment and then another three month wait after your initial orientation to the program to get a one on one visit with the doctor. We were lucky and got into an orientation only four months after getting on the waiting list. Another lucky happenstance is that I also got to have my one on one the very same day!! It turned out that only myself and the girl that I traveled down there with were there for IUI, (Inter Uterine Insemination) so he took us right away. The others were there for In Vitro.
Three months after my consultation with the doctor Nick and I traveled down to do our first IUI. Our doctor at San Antonio (Dr. King) told us that he didn't think that we had a very good chance with IUI with all of the factors that we had going for us and recommended that we head straight to In Vitro but IUI is completely free of charge where In Vitro is $5000. Since we didn't have that money we decided to try an IUI.
When we went down for the procedure I also found out that I had a third factor, which was that I have an annotated cervix. What that means is that my cervix is angled instead of straight. This made for a painful catheter insertion and a the doctor up on top of the bed I was in, feet on either side of my thighs trying to get it in!! Looking back on it I'm sure the view would have been hilarious if I wasn't in any pain!
Two weeks after the procedure Nick headed out for his third five month deployment to Iraq and I headed to the Emergency room since the procedure didn't work and left me with a five centimeter cyst on one ovary and a cluster of cysts on another ovary. They were removed and I waited on Nicks arrival back to the states.
Now we are at present day and Nick is on his four deployment to Iraq. He is set to come home in May and we are fundraising our way to our first In Vitro in August of 2011 in San Antonio. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes!
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